One of the most common retorts you'll see in relation to MAPs is that such people are 'sick' and need to "get help". However, it is never stated what this 'help' would entail, nor what it might achieve. Is some kind of conversion therapy envisaged? Is it assumed that all MAPs are entirely incapable of controlling their feelings?

The reality is that MAPs cannot be 'converted', and they are not necessarily lacking in self-control. 'Help' along these lines is neither needed nor wanted by the majority.

There are many reasons why MAPs would like to seek help, however.

A 2024 survey by Mu asked MAPs about their biggest challenges and worst experiences. Common complaints including feelings of isolation, loneliness, and the constant fear of being outed. It's clear from those comments that many respondents were suffering from depression and anxiety that could potentially respond to treatment.

However, MAPs can't safely and affordably access treatment for these issues. There exist organizations like Stop It Now set up to 'prevent offending', but they focus on self-control mechanisms that most MAPs have already mastered. B4U-ACT keeps a list of trusted therapists who promise to give MAPs the help they do want... at a price that is beyond the means of many, and with services heavily concentrated in North America.

Being able to access support safely is a major barrier. Therapists are theoretically expected to maintain confidentiality unless they believe a patient poses a risk to the public; unfortunately, many therapists interpret this exception very broadly, frequently reporting MAPs to the authorities simply due to their feelings. Mu is aware of countless such stories, with very unpleasant endings.

The people that a vulnerable MAP should be able to trust can be the most unprofessional. Last week, it was revealed that Diana Merrifield of NAMI Charlotte - an organization purportedly advocating safe and affordable mental health access for all - sold photographs of a suicide prevention chat for MAPs to TMZ. This led to one alleged user being 'outed' and losing his job.

The MAP community itself does offer peer support. B4U-ACT runs a forum, Lifeline operates a chat, and most MAP boards maintain a support section. While those offering advice are mostly not trained therapists, such options are clearly safer than coming out to the kind of person who might report you to the police or sell your therapy notes to the media.

One should also ask where these mental health issues actually come from. The isolation, loneliness and anxiety are not necessarily inherent; rather, they are a result of the extreme stigmatization of MAPs. People are so afraid of being outed that they isolate themselves from others, knowing one slip of the mask could ruin their lives. The mental health implications are significant.

Next time anyone asks why MAPs don't 'get help', they ought to look in the mirror. And they need to stop pretending that their scornful comments have anything whatsoever to do with protecting children.

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Mu also has a detailed article on MAP mental health